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My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my
sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he
said, "is not a slip. This is Lingerie." He discarded the tissue and
handed me the slip. It was exquisite, silk, handmade and trimmed with a
cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was
still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at
least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a
special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip
from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to
the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, the
he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special
occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion." I remembered
those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped
him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected
death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from
the midwestern town where my sister's family lives.I thought about all
the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the
things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm
stil thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading
more and dusting less. I'm sittin on the deck and
admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm
spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee
meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to
savor, not endure, I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish
the. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped,
the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I
like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for
one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good
perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in
banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she
known that she wouldn't have called family members and a few close
friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and
mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out
for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends
whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough
how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold
back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is..a gift from God. If
you've received this it is because someone cares for you. If you're too
busy to take the few minutes that it would take right now to forward
this to ten people, would it be the first time you didn't do that little
thing that would make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you
it certainly won't be the last. Take a few minutes to send this to a few
people you care about, just to let them know that you're thinking of
them. May love litter your life with blessings! JUST SEND IT!!! You've
got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to
hurt. "People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends
don't need to hold hands, because they know the other hand will always
be there." |